Are you The Good Egg?

I recently read a wise and relatable children’s book titled “The Good Egg” by Jory John and Pete Oswald. Simplistic and humorous, this adorable book tells a story about the economics of putting the needs of others above oneself. The Good Egg in this tale is enormously generous in her quest to help her fellow eggs in their dozen. No ask too big or too small. She’s the go-to, the problem-solver, the responsible and resilient one. It’s the role she has been given and the role that she automatically assumes in all her relationships, in and out of the egg carton.

The Good Egg’s instinct is to swoop in and effortlessly solve a crisis. She’s the boss and it’s her job to keep everyone in line. It also causes her to accept responsibility for all kinds of bad behavior from the dozen, none of which she can control. She pushes herself to exhaustion and ultimately “cracks” in her quest to manage the chaos of the group. On the advice of her egg-doctor, she embarks on a self-care journey to heal. She learns to take care of herself, restore her energy, and finally accept that there’s just some things that she can’t help or fix. In the end, she lets go of her expectations of perfection for herself and others. She learns to be ok, even when others are not always ok.

As a therapist who specializes in professional burnout, I have worked with many a Good Egg in my practice. Likewise, as a helping professional myself, I empathize with the mental and physical demands of problem-solving and caretaking. It takes enormous energy to care for others. It’s especially tiresome if this becomes the go-to role at work, with family and with friends. It’s likely that the natural tendency to be a chronic fixer was born of necessity at some point in one’s life. Being calm under stress and putting others’ needs first are skills that probably helped keep the Good Egg and her dozen safe in the past. The trouble is that once these roles are assigned and adopted, we can stay stuck in their grips for a lifetime. It’s exhausting and can lead to burnout. Therapy teaches us to step outside of these automatic roles that no longer serve us, while becoming whole and healthy eggs again.

Here’s a few “aha” moments that my clients often discover as they question these old roles that led them to burnout:

Aha #1: Being the Good Egg comes with the high cost of mental and physical exhaustion.

Aha #2: We can only fix ourselves and others can only fix themselves.

Aha #3: Chose joy over perfection.

Are you the Good Egg in the carton right now? Do you find that you usually put everyone else’s needs above your own? Are you physically and mentally exhausted from constant caretaking? Discover how you can relinquish yourself from this taxing role and instead seek joy over perfection. I’d love to chat with you about how you, too, can recover from burnout and prioritize your own wellness. Book a 15-minute free phone consult today at www.wellnesswithlorraine.org.